Barky Pyton's Dead Pelican Society

By Charles M. Young

CUSTOMER: I wish to register a complaint.

CLERK: Sorry, mate, it’s time for lunch.

CUSTOMER: Never mind about that, my lad. I wish to complain about this pelican that I purchased not half an hour ago from this very Oval Office.

CLERK: What’s wrong with it?

CUSTOMER: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. It’s dead. That’s what’s wrong with it.

CLERK: Naw, mate, he’s resting.

CUSTOMER: I know a dead pelican when I see one. And I’m looking at one right now.

CLERK: No no, he’s resting. Remarkable bird, eh? Beautiful plumage.

CUSTOMER: The plumage don’t enter into it. He’s covered with oil.

CLERK: No, that’s his natural color. He’s a Louisiana brown...

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