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New Polls to Ask Bush Impeachment Questions


SPOOF NEWS

The group that is leading the fight for answers from President George W. Bush about the Iraq war wants to hear your opinions. After Downing Street has raised over $7,900 as of Wednesday afternoon to finance Polling on Impeachment. According to thier website, the group wants to raise $10,000 to pay public opinion pollsters to ask questions about impeaching George Bush.

A Zogby International poll done in June showed that 42 percent of American voters favored impeaching Bush if he lied about his reasons for going to war with Iraq. Zogby has not asked impeachment questions in its presidential approval rating surveys since then.

Tenacious Australian blogger Luke Ryland pushed Zogby to no avail. After Downing Street has stepped in to fill the void.

Contributors are welcome to suggest questions for the pollsters. Here are some of our own unscientific questions that won't be making it into the surveys:

1) Iraqi Weapons of Mass Destruction: Do you think that George Bush should be impeached for going to Congress with a trumped up story about Iraq having weapons of mass destruction, even though he knew he was lying through his teeth, just so the U.S. could go thump Saddam Hussein? Yes or No.

2) Terrorism in Iraq: If you answered "yes," "absolutely" or "f#@* yeah!" to Question One, do you think George Bush has made his high crimes and misdemeanors worse by pursuing a floundering Iraq policy that has spawned, rather than contained, terrorism? Yes or No.

3) Valerie Plame Scandal: Should George Bush be impeached if he knew in advance about White House aides outing covert CIA officer Valerie Plame to reporters? Yes or no.

4) New Elections: If George Bush ran for president today, would you vote for him?

Yes

No

Yes, if Pat Robertson paid me a visit late at night.

No, my local election officials and/or Diebold would make sure my vote doesn't count.
5) Repeal of Posse Comitatus Act: George Bush said on Tuesday that he wants the authority to quarantine regions of the country during an epidemic, and to use the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines to enforce his edict. Do you think that President Bush would use that authority during an outbreak of:

Avian Flu

Psoriasis

Chronic Liberal Syndrome

Sleep Apnea
6) New York: George Bush's approval rating in New York has plummeted to 29 percent. What can the President do to restore his sagging popularity in New York?

Endorse New York City's bid for the 2012 Summer Olympics.

Thumb wrestle Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Tag along with Bill O'Rielly to a Yankees game.

Quarantine the entire state.
7) Governing Under the Influence: There have been widespread speculation that George Bush fell off the wagon during the Hurricane Katrina crisis. What do you think should be the legal limit for Governing Under the Influence?

0.10 percent Blood Alcohol Content (BAC). The same for driving under the influence in many states.

0.15 BAC. The limit for Extreme DUI. It's perfect for extremist neoconservatives.

0.30 BAC. Things couldn't get any worse.

Even a can of O'Doul's has a bit of alcohol in it. Impeach George Bush if he has touched a drop.
8) The Blame Game: If George Bush is impeached by the House of Representatives, what is his best strategy to save himself from being booted out of the White House by the Senate?

Let his daddy hire the best lawyers that tainted money from Osama bin Laden's cousins can buy.

Use British Prime Minister Tony Blair as a character witness.

Admit that he was a lousy project manager and hope Mr. Trump is impressed with his candor.

Pander to Judge Paula Abdul.
9) John Roberts' Catchphrase: If George Bush is impeached Chief Justice John Roberts would preside over a trial. If the Senate convicted George Bush, what catchphrase should Roberts use to announce the verdict?

"You're fired." Don't make the same mistake Martha Stewart did.

"You are the weakest link. Goodbye." Could help draw Republican votes if Roberts makes it his own during rehearsals.

"It's a no, dawg." Position Ryan Seacrest outside the Senate chamber.

None of the above. Roberts' son Jack should dance in front of the podium to lighten things up.
10) Play Guitar: If George Bush is impeached and removed from office, what entertainment career is he best suited for?

Guitar pickin' country recording artist.

Hosting infomercials for the Ronco Rotisserie of Mass Destruction.

Personal driver for Lindsay Lohan.

Straight man for Harvey Fierstien's stand-up comedy act.
Editor's Note: You can contribute to the Polling on Impeachment at their website:

http://www.afterdowningstreet.org/polling

LINK TO ORIGINAL

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