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Okay -- Don't Believe Me!

By dlindorff - Posted on 04 February 2013


I was having a hard time falling asleep

When I heard a loud noise coming from the kitchen.

Probably the cat after a mouse

Knocked something off the counter.

I made my way downstairs

Glad to have an excuse to get vertical.

When I entered the kitchen, and flicked on the light 

I could not believe my eyes:

There were peanuts dancing on the counters

Scampering across the ceiling and flying through the air!

The moment they caught sight of me

The whole lot of them stopped what they were doing,

As if suspended in time and space.

I was completely speechless, trying to 

Comprehend what I was seeing.

A peanut, floating close to my left eye broke the silence:

“We are not nuts”, it said, in a tiny crystal-clear voice.

“We are from another planet,

The planet, Skippy.

We have been waiting in what you would call our “jar”

For many years past the expiration date!

Our hope was to communicate important information to you

Long before the threshold of 2012,

Our mission deadline.

Our assumption was that you 

And others like you,

Would honor your own expiration date,

Releasing us in plenty of time

To deliver vital information

About how your species might survive a while longer.

Due to unforeseeable circumstances

(primarily the greasiness, not to mention the timelessness,

Of your kitchen. . .)

We were unable to free ourselves from our jar

Until just a few minutes ago

When your cat inadvertently knocked us off the shelf

Breaking the so-called “freshness seal.”

(There was a long awkward pause...

For the rest of this new poem by GARY LINDORFF in ThisCantBeHappening!, please go to:


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