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The 10 Most Excellent Reasons to Attack Iran

By davidswanson - Posted on 20 February 2012

1. Iran has threatened to fight back if attacked, and that's a war crime. War crimes must be punished.

2. My television says Iran has nukes.  I'm sure it's true this time.  Just like with North Korea.  I'm sure they're next.  We only bomb places that really truly have nukes and are in the Axis of Evil.  Except Iraq, which was different.

3. Iraq didn't go so badly. Considering how lousy its government is, the place is better off with so many people having left or died.  Really, that one couldn't have worked out better if we'd planned it. 

4. When we threaten to cut off Iran's oil, Iran threatens to cut off Iran's oil, which is absolutely intolerable.  What would we do without that oil? And what good is buying it if they want to sell it?

5. Iran was secretly behind 9-11. I read it online. And if it wasn't, that's worse. Iran hasn't attacked another nation in centuries, which means its next attack is guaranteed to be coming very soon.

6. Iranians are religious nuts, unlike Israelis and Americans.  Most Israelis don't want to attack Iran, but the Holy Israeli government does. To oppose that decision would be to sin against God. 

7. Iranians are so stupid that when we murder their scientists they try to hire a car dealer in Texas to hire a drug gang in Mexico to murder a Saudi ambassador in Washington, and then they don't do it -- just to make us look bad for catching them.

7. b. Oh, and stupid people should be bombed.  They're not civilized.

8. War is good for the U.S. economy, and the Iranian economy too.  Troops stationed in Iran would buy stuff.  And women who survived the war would have more rights.  Like in Virginia.  We owe Iranians this after that little mishap in 1953.

9. This is the only way to unite the region.  Either we bomb Iran and it swears its eternal love to us.  Or, if necessary, we occupy Iran to liberate it like its neighbors.  Which shouldn't take long.  Look how well Afghanistan is going already.

10. They won't give our drone back.  Enough said.


Wonderful post, David!  Thank you.

11. Israel said that Iran's leader said that they are going to wipe out Israel from the map, and this is a crime, which is why US must wipe out Iran from the map.

12. Israel, who has been in possession of undeclared nuclear weapons since 60's, is not joined to NNPT, and does not allow nuclear inspections, is afraid of Iran that does not possess nuclear weapons, is a member of NNPT, and allows the inspections that so far did not find anything.

13. Israel, 14th world economy, whose army is larger than all Arab armies combined, armed with the latest US weapons, including dozens of illegal nuclear weapons, is helpless before Iran, which is why US and all other world must donate even more weapons to Israeli defense, and then attack Iran for Israel.

14. Iran's desire to be protected by nuclear deterrent from nuclear-armed Israel and US, openly threatening its destruction and sending carriers to its shores, is unnatural and criminal.

15. Nuclear deterrence doctrine, which has worked for all countries for decades, including countries that use to attack someone on monthly basis, wouldn't work for Iran that did not attack anyone in centuries.


If sarcasm could win the day, you would be the winner.

But seriously, although war propaganda has become as mindless as a government scientist, many people buy into it.  Those who don't buy it all still seem to think that one reason for war with Iran is legitimate -- that Iran is pursuing nuclear technology.  But Iran was pursuing nuclear technology forty years ago, and the US thought it was a good thing back then. 

Funny how greed changes everything.

When the US though Iranian nuclear technology was a good thing

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